Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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