he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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