Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
