The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
