bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
