no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
