If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
