Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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