He asked to "fluff my boner.."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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