yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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