My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
