well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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