I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
BRING THE BAGELS
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
