so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
