I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
