best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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