69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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