have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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