Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
