i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
