are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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