I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize