So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
