Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
