Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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