Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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