Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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