I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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