capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sorry my hands just texted you
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
