help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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