I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He has the fingertips of a God
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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