i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
