i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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