Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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