i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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