I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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