she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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