The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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