walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!