Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.

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  (301): Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached. http://tfl.nu/7q2p
  Replies (3) Good night (1493) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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  (321): My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money? http://tfl.nu/139x
  Replies (10) Good night (396) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.

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  (434): Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now. http://tfl.nu/1bza
  Replies (10) Good night (902) Bad night (2386) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  (973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l
  Replies (41) Good night (1105) Bad night (3695) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.

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  (570): you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you. http://tfl.nu/anwq
  Replies (7) Good night (797) Bad night (4342) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.

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  (773): You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend. http://tfl.nu/u6sb
  Replies (7) Good night (2707) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.

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  (727): remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes. http://tfl.nu/1odp
  Replies (0) Good night (1327) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

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  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1714) Bad night (655)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.

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  (518): It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun. http://tfl.nu/n6c2
  Replies (21) Good night (2031) Bad night (788)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...

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  (902): Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going... http://tfl.nu/liwq
  Replies (4) Good night (1276) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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  (845): I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/33mk
  Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

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  (513): I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen. http://tfl.nu/m4h2
  Replies (9) Good night (1406) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?

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  (514): So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much? http://tfl.nu/8ysl
  Replies (7) Good night (1524) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix

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  (619): I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix http://tfl.nu/k82p
  Replies (8) Good night (370) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.

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  (815): His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water. http://tfl.nu/symz
  Replies (1) Good night (663) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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