Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.