My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
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you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.