I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
