If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
