it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
