Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
