I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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