Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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