as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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