what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
