honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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