Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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