This girl is more easily done than said...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
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That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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