When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
