When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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