doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.