Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back