k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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