i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO