he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?