Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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