This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize